I’ve become master of myself. The frenzied outings for ice cream and cookies have ceased. And not just because I don’t eat that stuff anymore, but because the cravings have become manageable. Manageable means that they’re still there – passing the bakery on my way to produce or seeing desserts at a restaurant still gives me a pang of longing deep in my heart – but my mindful eating is no longer overruled by the sugar monster inside of me.
I really thought this would be harder. Not to undermine other people’s attempts at getting off The Sugar, but it just so happens the longer I go without it, the less I want it. At the beginning of this cavewoman thing, I was seriously stalking cheesecake. Now, I could give or take it. Don’t put words in my mouth, I never said I didn’t want it. That creamy thickness, the tart and sweet happily marrying in my mouth, the sighing exhale as all stress and worry melts away from my body. Oh, I can vividly imagine it and if I were to take a bite right this second, I can promise you two things: I would not regret it for a millisecond and it would send my sugar monster over the cliff, gobbling up cookies, cake, brownies, and ice cream as it went.
So, is it worth it? Right now, the answer is no. Is life without cheesecake a life I deem worth living? Also, a resounding no. This Paleo thing was never about me stripping my life of all the foods that I love. I won’t ever feel bad about having a special occasion slice of cheesecake, but at the same time, I’m very grateful that I’ve found that life is not all about that sweetness that comes at the end of the meal. You can have sweetness in all other things if you just open your eyes instead of your mouth.